My Big Haired Life in New New York


OPEN on the SIMPSON'S house.
BART, LISA, and HOMER are watching tv. MAGGIE is on the floor playing with her blocks.
KENT BROCKMAN: (on TV)...And finally, to recap our top story, a massive wind storm is threatening to hit Springfield.
MARGE: (walking into the lounge room) Hmm...I don't like the sound of that. Homer, I think you should tie down anything that can blow away.
HOMER: Such as???
MARGE: The dog kennel, the pot plants, the random pieces of trash you threw on the front lawn--
HOMER: I can't help it, Marge. It's customary in this state.
MARGE: Yeah, whatever. Oh, and don't forget the TV antenna.
HOMER: --GASP!-- Oh no, without the TV antenna I won't have any TV. Good call honey.
MARGE: Just don't forget to tie down the other things too.
CUT TO HOMER in the garage.
HOMER: Hmm...now what can I use to keep the antenna steady up there? Ooh, I've never seen this before!
HOMER picks up a packet saying "NEW!! Extra-strength, water proof, wind resistant glue!"
HOMER: Marge, when did we get this special glue?
MARGE: (from the kitchen) Oh, I picked it up yesterday when you wanted me to go to the hardware store.
HOMER: This oughtta hold the TV antenna in place...
ZOOM IN on HOMER standing on the roof.
HOMER: Okay, put a little bit here (puts some glue on the roof). Another bit here (puts more down). And I'll just squeeze the tube a little harder...(glue goes all over the antenna). Oopsie. I'm sure the wind will get it off. (The part of the label saying "wind resistant" shows just to show Homer's stupidity). Okay kids, hows the picture?
BART: It's great, Homer!
Suddenly, lightning hits the power line and the electricity goes out.
HOMER: D'oh!
MARGE: (lighting a candle) Hrrmm...kids I think you should just go to bed.
LISA: But Mom, it's only 7PM!
MARGE: Yes, but if you go to bed now than the electricity will be back on tomorrow...I promise.
HOMER: (shivering) Ooh Marge! It's raining and I'm soaked! Plug the heater in. (The family gives him odd looks). What?
Suddenly, more lightning comes, but this time it hits the antenna. It activates a preservative in the glue, and lights the television up. MAGGIE, who is still in the loungeroom, crawls to the TV. Suddenly, she is sucked into the set and everything goes dark again.
The family realizes what happened and go into the lounge room. Suddenly, the television lights up again, and a person comes out. She has purple hair, but we only see her for a second before everything goes dark. She talks, but we can't see her.
LEELA: What the hell just happened?
OPEN on the PLANET EXPRESS building.
PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH: Good news, everyone! You don't have to go on a mission today!
BENDER: Oh yeah!
FRY: Just my luck! I brought over my Simpsons DVDs for all of us to watch!
LEELA: Fry, it's a nice thought, but wouldn't you rather watch something ordinary for once?
BENDER: Yeah, like Elzar.
FRY: What?

BENDER: Uh...nothing.
FRY: I don't care what you think right now Leela, I'm going to relax with my good friend Homer J. Simpson.
FRY puts a disc into a DVD player. He presses a button on the remote, and we hear the episode.
HOMER: Homer no function beer well without.
FRY laughs. BENDER and LEELA frown at him. LEELA snatches the remote.
FRY: Hey, give that back!
LEELA: Fry, I'll show you what 31st century television is all about. (Presses a button but nothing happens). What the? (Tries again). Oh darn. Flat batteries. (Pulls something out and the remote falls apart). Damn.
FRY: Here, I'll fix it. (Goes and finds a tube of old glue). All you have to do is glue it back together! (Pours glue onto the remains of the remote). See? Good as new. Have fun now!
LEELA: Hmm, maybe Fry did actually fix it. (Changes the channel). Hey, Fry, come back here! The batteries weren't flat after all, and you actually fixed the remote control!
FRY: And not for the first time...
BENDER: Hey lady, I don't wish to rain on your parade, but I didn't think the TV gave off a glow like that.
They turn around to see the television has gone a strange colour. Everything goes black for just a moment, then the lights come back on.
FRY: Hey, where's Leela gone?
A sucking noise is heard, and FRY spots MAGGIE on the floor.
ZOOM IN on the Simpson's living room.
HOMER: Holy crap! Who are you?
LEELA: Oh my god...I must be dreaming. I was just watching you on Fry's stupid primitive discs.
MARGE: My husband makes a very clear point in asking why some strange-coloured one-eyed alien has suddenly materialised onto our lounge room floor. And where's my daughter?
LEELA: Lisa? She's right there! (Points to Lisa)
MARGE: I'm talking about Maggie!
HOMER: Who the heck is Maggie?
CLOSE UP of MAGGIE'S face trembling.
BENDER: Hey Fry, you didn't tell me that your episodes were interactive!
FRY: What the heck? They aren't Bender. I have no idea how this could have happened.
They hear LEELA'S voice.
LEELA: I swear I haven't kidnapped your daughter!
FRY: Leela? Where are you?
BENDER: Oh. My. GOD! The TV ate Leela!
FRY: (turning around) Huh? What the? Leela? How did you get in there?
BENDER: She's in the TV. She can't hear you.
FRY: So that explains why one of the Simpsons is in our building. Or does it?
BENDER: Yes it does. Now get your butt to the table so we can work out a plan to get Leela back.
FADE IN on MARGE crying at the table.
MARGE: I can't believe it...my little girl's been KIDNAPPED!
LEELA: I'm telling you. I have no idea where your daughter is. What will it take to convice you?
HOMER: Well, to start, you can fix our TV reception.
CUT TO LEELA having a look at the television set.
LEELA: Oh, this is just a busted up antenna. It happens all the time at Planet Express after Fry and Bender screw around with it.
HOMER: (whispering) Marge, do we know them?
OPEN ON LEELA on the roof. The four Simpsons are watching the TV to see if the reception improves.
LEELA: Hmm...well... part of it's snapped off, so I'll have to weld it back together.
LEELA puts a welding mask on and starts to weld the antenna back together, activating the glue again.
The screen says "MEANWHILE" with a shot of PLANET EXPRESS.
FRY: (to MAGGIE, who's crying) Maggie? What's wrong? Do you want to watch some TV?
FRY picks up the remote to turn it on.

FRY: Oh, the stupid picture is still screwed up.
Everything goes black, and when the lights come back on, FRY is gone. BENDER walks in. FRY'S DVD has suddenly started playing again.
BENDER sees FRY sprawled on the floor in front of LISA, BART, MARGE, and HOMER.
BENDER: Eww...not this again. Let's change the channel...
Unfortunately for BENDER, he also gets sucked into the TV.
OPENING SHOT of LEELA on the roof.
LEELA: Hows the picture?
BENDER: (leaning out the window) It's great. Now why don't you go get me a six pack.
LEELA: Bender?
FRY: (out the window) Yo Leela!
LEELA: Fry? What the heck are you guys doing here? It's amazing the Simpsons didn't scream at you!
FRY: The Simpsons?
LEELA: Yeah, they were sitting on the couch!
BENDER: Well, Leela, they're not anymore.
SHOT of HOMER at PLANET EXPRESS. He walks to the fridge.
HOMER: I wonder if this place has any beer.
HOMER opens the fridge, to reveal ZOIDBERG inside.
ZOIDBERG: Ah, my good friend Bender! Might I say your alchol breath smells more authentic today!
HOMER: Ooh! Gentically altered, talking giant prawn! (starts drooling)
ZOIDBERG: Wait! You're not Bender!
BART: Damn right he isn't!
ZOIDBERG: Oh no! It's just like my nightmare where I go for a fortnight without eating!
FARNSWORTH: Are you people STILL here? I said you didn't have to work today.
LISA: Hello. My name's Lisa. This building fascinates me. It's just wonderful to know technology like this exists in the 21st century!
FARNSWORTH: (screams) Who the heck are you? It's the 31st century, dagnabbit!
ZOIDBERG runs for his life yelping, before hiding behind FARNSWORTH.
ZOIDBERG: Please, help me! The giant one is trying to EAT me!
HOMER: I just want a bite of the tender, sweet...prawns...
BART spots MAGGIE on the couch.
BART: Hey Mom, look! Maggie's here! That freaky one eyed chick was right! She wasn't kidnapped!
FARNSWORTH: One eyed chick, you say? Hang on a minute, I recognize you from that infernal television program that Fry watches. But if you're here...and you say you've seen Leela...
LISA: Leela? What a cool name!
BART: Shaddup! I wanna listen to the old nut...
FARNSWORTH: Yes, thank you young man. As I was saying, if you, cartoon characters, are here, then that means Leela is in your world!
HOMER: Cartoon characters?
FARNSWORTH: Yes indeed. If I reveal anymore of your secret past, then I think your universe will collapse.
BART: Cool.
ZOIDBERG: Just wait...where's Bender and Fry?
OPEN on FRY, LEELA, and BENDER are in the Simpson's living room.
LEELA: Okay, so Fry, you're saying we've been zapped into the Simpson's universe?
FRY: Yahuh! And if i'm right, they must be in New New York. You see, Maggie came out of the television, then Leela dissappeared, then we come here just as the rest of the family dissappears! It's quite simple!
BENDER: Is it really, Fry? Is it really?
NARRATOR: Good question Bender. Will the Simpsons ever get to see Snowball II again? Will Bender be able to take one last trip to the Olde Fortran Malt Liquor Factory? And how does a trans-universal device fit into it all? Tune in next time to find out!

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